SHE GOES FOR JOB INTERVIEW: TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HOME STATE?

Some people have balls to openly criticize the State policies, society, customs, traditions and individuals, they do bring changes. Some people do it in a sneaky way because they do not want to be heroes, they want to be survivors, who survives long by being the joker in the pack, they too bring changes.

 

 

So here is this lady from Nagaland who went for a job interview in New Delhi. Since I  thought it is confidential, I dare not to mention her name.

Member 1: Please take your seat.

Member 2: How are you feeling? Nervous?

Ms. X: A bit coz’ the colour of my dupatta does not match the colour of my kurti.

Member 1: How do you describe yourself?

Ms.X: My English both written and spoken not well. 10+2+3 did from Open. Working hard passed. I am a happy and lucky person. Loves people, man, woman and various categories and sub categories. Promise to God, I will try my best to crack this exam. Reached here, will do my best for today.

Member 2: Tell us something about your home state?

Ms.X: Nagaland, hmm, like any other state of India is filled with one of the ‘isms’ here it is tribalism, ouch!

Education everyone complaints, government schools rejected by public, private schools popular but in matter of jobs? Government jobs number one preference.  

Unemployment blooming like wild mushrooms, and wild mushrooms are dangerous, solution is problematic to achieve as everyone wants to be a ‘sir’ and ‘madam’.

The life of the Naga working class is like a situational comedy, my parents wait for the month to end so the situation will be a comedy.

People ride, I mean rich brats drive SUV, Sedan, road, yuck, bad, muddy, specific public richer than the state government, so shitty road but awesome cars.

Water and electricity are not a problem, because…em…we have to know these things well to miss it, to become a problem.

Hygiene of a hospital is known by its toilets, private hospital toilet okay, government hospital toilet please mention not.

And you know what? Dimapur the biggest commercial hub of the state is so dirty and dusty, I know clean hearted people from there but the city so not clean.

It is a dry state, wait a minute, try state. Alcohol problem rampant. Moral policing not a solution. 

Counterfeit stuffs are also sold, fake, fake designer maal, sorry, items. Everyone is not ‘haves’ here, so second hand market comes to rescue, women wear mix and match.

Election time church members become over restless, hallelujah, Father God praying types…(pause) I no problem having with them as long as they attend the needs of the poor and broken.

I want to laugh, Can’t I laugh? I am controlling… won’t it be funny if they are charged of corruption, it will be like pure, clean biggest institutionalized corruption.

Pork with bamboo is a lovely popular dish, but not so popular now a days coz’ BP problem shooting high. King chilli, raja mirchi, hottest chilly in the world is grown in Nagaland, people love it, some have gastric problem but they still eat it like happy mongoose.

Illegal taxation rampant coz’ the reverse version of Robin Hoods do not know accountability and accountancy… thus… it ends up looking like exploitation.

I read Pride and Prejudice in my syllabus, nice novel, can see the same match making scheme happening, very much calculated weddings happening, rich marries rich and becomes richer, simple multiplication.

The English of the youth have very much improved thanks to cable networks, half credit to schools. Some have fake accent, no problem, swagging in fashion no, American vs. British accent, American wins when Sherlock Holmes series not in season. 

Member 3 (Lady Member): What’s the level of corruption in Nagaland?

Ms.X: The corruption level of Nagaland the state is directly proportional to the female boner I get when the sexy smile of Jesse Eisenberg creeps into my mind, it just goes on rising…he…he…he…

Member 4: Doner?

Ms.X: Sir, I said Boner!

Member 3 (Lady Member): In certain field her vocabulary is rich. Sarcasm 

Ms.X: Madam, Sir, I want to add something.

Member 3 (Lady Member): Sure, go ahead.

Ms.X: I said so much about my home state, I feeling negative picture I must have presented, I am no tourism promoter so I was honest. However, that’s not the end. What we have is aspiration, aspiration to change for better if required. Although we have indigenous knowledge to preserve food items, we know when to throw the stale foods, so moral is, we know when too much gets too much. And I believe in the lyrics of the song which goes…the future’s in the air, I can feel it everywhere blowing with the wind of change.

Member 2: Wonderful song, reminds me of my college days.

Member 4: Yeah, oops! We were carried away. But we are back.

Member 1: Thank you Ms.X, your interview is over. It was nice interviewing you. 

Ms.X: Is it time for me to move out of this room? I think so. Thank you all.

 

I am perfectly clueless whether she was selected for the job or not. If this is a motivational story then I bet she was. But let’s zoom to see the larger picture, for the truth is, it is not about a woman trying her best to convince the interview board that she is perfect for the job. Then what is this about?

 

To the readers from Nagaland: We all know the condition of Nagaland. I highlighted, more like revision. It is a big game of chess and we are pawns, the problem is we do not know under whose manipulative skills we are playing and most importantly we do not know against whom we are playing. Anyway, I am not going to change anything. If there are seminars, conferences, talks for better Nagaland then I will be interested to attend provided there is free lunch and dinner.

To the readers who are not from Nagaland: How well do you know your home state? I am sure it is not perfect. Why don’t you tell something about it?