Over the past few decades, the wealth disparity in our society has created a clear cut distinction between have, have but not much, and have-nots. Before I get to the main point of argument, I would like to state something which might be factually wrong, blame my inadequate research, nonetheless, something which many might agree. We never had families coming from industrial background owning big manufacturing industries, large scale export-import business, and Forbes list. You know what I mean? Yes, we had wealthy families owning many lands making them product of old money and yes, we had strong bureaucratic families which in course of time had accumulated so much of wealth making the first generation novo rich, second generation richer and the third generation stingingly rich. In the process, the third generation becomes the haves of Nagaland; some might be in the second generation but might have leveled up to attain the status. Families with high status have let known themselves to the people of this land through their social media posts and pictures, through word of mouth, through their extravagant lifestyle or by their relatives who likes to brag about their wealthy family.
If we look into Jane Austin’s novels especially Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility, she depicted the social-economic realism that prevailed in the society of that period. I am not explaining the impact of industrial revolution on the English society in this post, though. The upper class were people with big fat estates and their homes had beautiful gardens, had enough leisure time to hunt and to wear the best elegant gown in every ball party. The middle class, although they somewhat had the same opportunities to engage in social gatherings and get invitation in dancing parties but they did not enjoy the luxuries and elite vote like the upper class did, and yes, they dependent more on agriculture for their income, unlike the upper class families who generated revenue through trading, renting and inheritance. Her novels show the tension that develops when two people from different social strata meet. The opinions of the secondary characters in Jane Austen’s novels regarding love, relationship and marriage and the match making scenario aligning itself to status compatibility is like a glimpse of the present Naga society. Point to note, not to complicate things, for this post, I would like to replace the term ‘upper class’ with ‘high status wala family’ in Nagaland.
Class consciousness in Love and Arrange Marriages, this is the real purpose of this post. Are we becoming so status conscious that even the marriages in our society is being determined by it?
Arranged
marriage in Nagaland, giving it Jane Austin’s touch: The guy
has to be a job holder, better if he is a government job holder, and the girl has
to be beautiful having qualities that can defeat Amrita Rao in Vivah. If not then
she should come from a family of high reputation or from a super religious
family where fasting and prayer runs supreme because our society believes if
the girl is from a religious family then she is automatically kind and will have
limited opinions. She won’t be a news bitch for the guy’s family, no Oprah type 7
Million USD interview. On the other hand, if the guy is unemployed then he will
start off with some small business. The lady, his parents or his family members
will choose for him will be someone who is a working professional. In short, one
of them ought to have a stable job; there are exceptions, more so, if the girl’s
parents are wealthy.
Love marriage in Nagaland, giving it Jane Austin’s touch: I thought it was a self-reliant affair. But that is not always the case. Two hearts meet and decide to stay together, then the differences are well caught by the families if there is a status issue. The reservation is stronger from the wealthier of the two families. Inter-tribe issue, upbringing issue, age issue, denomination issue, relationship with Christ issue, more problem comes to the list if the guy is unemployed or in the worst case scenario, from a poor family and younger than the lady, even by a week. If the girl is from a financially weaker family, then she is seen as a woman who has used her charms to seduce the heavy wallet son, brother or nephew of theirs just to clear off her family's debt. She might be branded as gold digger, lazy yet scheming opportunist (it needs hard work, isn’t it?). Well, we don’t know what is on the lady’s mind, she might be a great fan of Komolika, but if she genuinely loves him then we are guilty of being judgmental at the worst.
True, parents often look for financial security for
their children and it gets executed in choosing their life partners, this might
not be called class consciousness. However, when there is a lot of game
plan and manipulation involved, love of money and status overpowers honest
compassion, kindness and happiness then it looks more like a business deal and
not matrimony. Where is it going now? On a positive note, initially someone
might marry someone for money or family's then slowly and gently genuine love might
blossom, it happens. And families' opinions hardly matter when the bond is strong between the couple. Lastly, leaving aside all the problems that arrange or
love marriage family compatibility might have, at the end, like any of the Jane
Austin’s novels; the union of two pure hearts deserves a happy ending.
