THE YEAR THAT WAS 2016: THE ROMANTIC VERSION

                                       

There are three types of people in this world whose humour are- 1) we are all mad here, let’s laugh together, 2) he is madder than me, she is less mad than me, I laugh, 3) I am not mad, but you call me mad, I’ll sue you and you’ll become poor, I’ll laugh at your bankruptcy. No matter which category you fall under, a bit of humour and wit to appreciate sarcasm can make someone prevent from catching asshole arrest syndrome.

The January-My year began with a man blackmailing to kill himself slowly by turning into an alcoholic if I did not go on a date with him. The citizen’s duty to me made me ask which drink would poison him. He replied, beer! I told him to carry on with his plan.

The February-Valentine’s Day sucked as usual. I got Swarovski earrings from an unemployed guy. Nothing serious happened between us, but I kept on wondering from where he got the money to buy those earrings. Months later I got to hear that his ex-girlfriend was a saleswoman in one of the malls.

The March-I stayed loyal to academics. It was a love-hate relationship.

The April-I stayed loyal to academics. Academics suffers from the bi-polar condition.

The May-Someone from my past showed up, he was looking handsome in a hotel bar, and I could not stop, so baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover. This is Chainsmoker’s Closer, kindly skip it.

The June-Spent my birthday in Estonia- witnessed the midnight sun, a cute guy hit on me…I didn’t know I was this cute. My life is not Yash Chopra’s movie, romance in a foreign location? You must be kidding.

The July-No time for romance worked my ass out on my Thesis. Thesis submitted. To live a fabulous life is not easy.

The August-Moved out from the University with mixed feeling like loose motion and constipation at the same time. Damn! No man run after me on a cycle like in the movie Barfi!

The September- Started dating the richest bachelor of Nagaland. Wow! What a feminist decision.

The October- Still dating the richest bachelor of Nagaland. Wow! What a feminist dedication.

The November- That rich bachelor was not so dumb, he got to know I was trying to scam him. I defended myself by saying, ‘My love might be a scam, but US Election was the greatest scam of this year.’ I am sure he feels better now.

The December-I wanted Macbook Air as a Christmas gift. I know Santa was not going to gift me. I have been a very bad girl ;) and he is no Christian Grey.

 ***Santa does not exist, but together Santa-Banta exists in India…two fat men, middle aged, round face, one leads- the other one follows, hehe! You got the picture.

Welcome, 2017. I know you are going to be sexy. Muah!

THE DIARY OF AN EX-MEMBER OF DELILAH SCHOOL

Dragons fly and they emit fire from their nostrils, I bleed every month. The existence of dragons is questionable. Debates and discussions are appreciated if a good documentary director documents it intelligently. On the other hand, my existence as a woman is hahaha, the members of my school fight among themselves and often they are their worst enemy. Anyway, the only thing that is similar between the dragons and an opinionated woman like me is- people are afraid of us for some eccentric reasons…fire?

Dear Diary,

As you know that I do not belong to Delilah school anymore, I have the liberty to write this note to you without the fear of being fined or sued even if some uncivilised soul sneaks through it.

In the Delilah school, I was taught always to make room for unexpected in oneself, but I realised I have claustrophobia. I never held a top position in any of offices, I am not beautiful and I am full of fear, I am afraid of unwanted attention, I am scared of criticisms, and I pee on my jeans when I see wild animals because I have been conditioned to see animals only inside the cage. We were taught to be perfect, so flawless that every word uttered from our mouth becomes supreme. The members of the school were taught to attain beauty, charm and seduction, intelligence and wit, I was the round peg in a square hole. I was lazy to groom in summer and was heartless during winter. The members of this school are always put under competition with members of other schools like Eve School, Esther School and Mary School. Every inch of action is to put members of another school down or to trap and make men kneel to the ground.  I told them to relax as we had the oldest technology in the world, I said, ‘Uterus is the oldest 3D printer known to mankind. And we are going nowhere.’ They looked in anger, that’s when I knew my days in this School were numbered. I don’t have a lover, or a friend, or a husband or children, I think everything in this world is overrated, I think solitude is the most underrated thing on this earth.

Top secret, we had a lesson on subtle seduction too. I objected it, such objection came from my belief that nothing in this world is subtle because every subtle action or words have bigger consequences than the unsubtle ones. They charged me, I paid some thousand bucks. Again they charged me when I suggested them that instead of polishing us to hit a target, why don’t we think of shielding us from being a target. They were quick in collecting fines from me, maybe, I was worth taking fines from or maybe, I was just being a reflective tunnel from where the air passes and they thought breathing was a bad ritual. It does not need a drunken soul to sense there is disunity even among the pioneers of this school, hence, no major contribution has been offered by this school.

I believe in expression and they glorify codification of everything including repression. Well, seduction can be a form of expression which they are good at, but, what good does it do when all the women of this school separate themselves with strict boundary. The sole element that functions alongside the realm of expression is to have a relationship with the over-all strategies to achieve the purpose of its execution. In the initial days, I made friends with some liberal members within my school, turns out they were the worst. I wonder how they could fake it so well, I too fake it sometimes but my accommodative nature springs out from the sheer belief that we do not have to scale and live, unlike those people who have nothing but their investment for their larger interest. 

It is true that no divine creature will come down to fix the car or change the light bulb. I wonder why we all cannot live in unity with the members of other schools. No, we can’t!

Written with so much redemption in the air,

Miss Lamekumer.

THE LADY BOSS

Reviews

“English speaking movie, hence, highly and comfortably recommended for high school students in English medium schools."

                                                   Miss. Fannyla, Primary school teacher

“This movie is loaded with great dialogues, hmm, I don’t have to prepare my speech on women and power and empowerment for the next two years. I am going to quote and mega quote the lines from this movie. Thank you The Lady Boss.”

             One of the Members of Legislative Assembly, Nagaland

“I was going through a bad divorce phase, I watched this movie on the recommendation of my ex-husband’s current wife, and magic happened, I am feeling like a new woman. I have even ordered original Ray-Ban sunglasses to feel like the Lady Boss.”

                 The now not so estranged ex-wife of a rich Naga playboy husband

“ The Lady Boss speaks directly to your heart, you will feel like praying for her every now and then. She carries a charitable character, oh, she is straight from heaven.”

                A former pastor under investigation for corruption charges

“If Raees is Bollywood’s reply to The Rum Diary, then  The Lady Boss is Nagaland’s reply to Kill Bill.”

         An Anonymous fan of the movie

Plot Summary

Spoiler Alert!

She had everything in life except money. She even studied hard to win Kaun Banega Crorepati, but by the time she was confident of winning, the show was off the air. She realised all the books and videos on how to become rich were produced to fool and exploit poor people to become poorer. One day, she went to church and prayed to God in Latin, although God could understand any language, she chose this particular language because she wanted to show off, but that’s not the point. While returning from the church, an old man who looked like a classic pervert stopped her and offered a deal she would not refuse. Intoxicated by the small of her natural hair, he fell in love, but she didn’t love him, she loved his young and energetic nephew.  On the April Fool’s day, he kills her lover and fires her from the job. She cries for her dead lover, but more for the job. She decides to avenge the ill-treatment under The Employers and Employees Act, 1990. Now, you have to watch the movie to find out, 1) Does she get justice? 2) Why is the movie titled Lady Boss?

                              

THE REVENGE MONOLOGUE

We spoke of the government, assassinations of the Presidents,

-bankruptcy and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,

Endangered species, natural calamities and the Wicca,

-the child bear and Edward Said’s Orientalism,

We were never in love, we were always under a dialogue,

The warlocks of oratory got jealous,

-they decided to ban such union.

They strike me with madness and you with horniness,

-and that’s when I decided to go solo,

Here am I, hope it won’t be long,

-love is a homely stay and revenge is a vacation.

Looks can be deceptive, that’s right,

You look like you can’t even kill a fly,

But you are the new age butcher,

A spoiled child living on a rotten body.

Thinks high of yourself,

Certified whore you are,

Every uterus belongs to you that’s what you claim,

May you pee blood, flood the Ganges and the Nile.

All you wanted was to bang, four nights in your regular hour,

Money can’t buy morals, what are you selling?

This is a revenge monologue, stick your jar on the myopic wall,

Shine arts and sins so crafty, the devil longs for your soul.

Ants will mistake your body for bread crumbs,

Dogs will fight for your bones, snakes will copulate on your hair,

My the end of this line you’ll feel nauseated,

Thus, begins your end…

6 TYPES OF ENEMIES

2016 has been a long year, this year some of us might have attained sainthood, some of us might have spent a week in a prison, however, none of these immune us from making an enemy or two. You might not agree with the list but it is always interesting to find out under which category does your enemy falls and fits.

Family Enemy- Family is a mini-society in itself, we have people, those people are endowed with hell lot of personalities, some of them have become our enemies but we cannot kill them because they are connected to us either by blood or by law. We might have a creepy uncle who waited for us to hit our puberty, we might have an overly interfering aunt who has been nicknamed as marriage dot com, we might have a cousin who is pretentious and a bully, we might have a brother-in-law who is manipulative, selfish and a big bastard, we might have a sister-in-law who is out there trying to seduce random someone or you or your lover, we might have  relatives who makes us wonder what exactly the phrase, ‘It’s all about loving your family’ means.

Social Network aka Virtual enemies- First of all, we don’t have a clue how and why he/she is there in our friend list. They hardly like our status or pictures or the link that we share. But if we post something on a topic which they do not agree upon or of which they are sensitive about then they will try to kill us with words which we can’t understand because we don’t read Zombie script. Their level of intolerance makes us sick. We do not even remember sending them a friend request, but the number of abusive words in the reply/comment bar make us assure the virtual world is filled with maggots.

Your Best Friends’ Enemies – There is a saying, your enemy’s enemy is your friend, but your best friends’ enemies are your enemies. Has it ever occurred to you where your bestie/ closest bro from another mother narrated about being insulted by someone and you took it personally, quite personally that you started YouTubing how to make a bomb from organic matters? Have you ever spread the rumour of your best friend's ex getting infected by STD or undergoing sex change surgery or being a member of some Satanic cult just because they cheated on your buddy? I do not know how the equation works here, but it is apparent that sometimes someone becomes our enemy just because they are our best friend’s enemy.

Lover turned Enemy- This is one of the worst case scenarios. Friends become lovers become friends again, that’s great. Friends become lovers become enemies, that’s dangerous. Nothing is more deadly than ex-lovers exposing each other’s dirty linen in public because some people takes delight in measuring the length of the linen. In one historical point of time, you must have seen each other naked both literally and figuratively, you must have trusted each other with the deepest of secrets, but when things fall apart in bitter misery, each other’s ego are checked, there is maximization of one’s self-interest over the other, playing the victim becomes the winning strategy, and in the process the audience enjoys the free show. 

Frenemy- So there is this particular person who is our friend or claims to be our friend or behaves to be our friend, but we do not need an enemy if we have a friend like him/her. This frenemy is never there in the hour of need, might congratulate us on our success, but behind our back gives a narrative of how undeserving we are. This frenemy does not defend us in our absence, this frenemy secretly hates us, this frenemy will be the first one to leave us before the exit door is opened.  This frenemy is Brutus under the mask of Marc Antony. As a matured human being, eventually, we get to know them and that is when we treat our Fran F Enemy the way they treat us.

The Clueless Enemy – We don't have clue why we hate this particular person so much. Maybe it is our insecurities that make us hate them as they are in a particular position enjoying the best of things brought about by their hard work, maybe it is their intelligence which we feel envious of or maybe they are so sexy that we feel threaten or maybe they have killed us in your previous life and we are getting deja vu about it. Nothing is impossible if we try, hence, let's either try to figure out why we consider them as our enemy or let's try to like them for who they are. 

THE LAST ILLUSION

                                                                             

I knew April.

(Like I know the remaining eleven months).

Magic fascinated her more than anything else in the world.  In her childhood, she could pick up fights with those classmates who had little respect for magic. For others, magic might be nothing but a trick, but for her, it was the ultimate connection which she shared with the world far beyond one’s understanding. She wanted to be a magician, she bought books on magic, its apparatus and ethnology too.

(J.G.Frazer’s arguments on magic involves a hypothesis considering magic the earliest form of human thought. Based on his arguments, magic is supposedly the foundation of the whole mystical and scientific universe of primitive man-yeah, it has not been proved valid though. Anyway, I have to engage your imagination and for this nothing works better than magic, vampires, Dracula and other extraordinary medieval characters and occupations).

Her middle-class family which consisted of her dad, mom, sister and her younger brother were her first audience. At first, she performed simple card tricks, then bird from the hat and flower from the pocket of her coat and tougher ones. As she grew so also her skills to amuse her friends. Her talent did not go unnoticed. She was invited to various events to entertain guests, she did not turn it down; she loved performing.

(Family drama is in vogue, everyone can connect whether it be a dysfunctional family or some middle-class family aspiring for the best. I am not Wes Anderson, hence I am not comfortable depicting an upper-class family living a highly eccentric bourgeoisie life).

As the years went by, her sister good married, she had a niece but unfortunately, the cosmos were not in favour of her perfect world. She lost her niece. Her sister went under a depression, April with all her magical tricks stood helpless. Two years later younger brother died of drug overdose,

April with all her magical tricks stood helpless. Her best friend brought news of her breast cancer detection, April with all her magical tricks stood helpless. She could not crack the frowns into laughter of the man she loved.  He gave up on his life and the love they shared, so in one of the early winter mornings, he died by jumping off from a high building, April with all her magical tricks stood helpless.

(Nothing is sadder than death, loneliness, depression and urban isolation. I can’t refer to rural isolation as I haven’t mentioned about one of the characters sitting under a tree, listening to the sea waves banging the cliff while seagulls’ talents are abused).

She wanted to release herself and the people she loved from the misery. Misery could have been so nagging like an old woman who has been left alone in the wilderness to pluck her own berries, in the process she marks no territory; she extends her foot everywhere belittling the ground and the sky alike. April wanted to stop the misery. She had an idea, and the idea would bring happiness to everyone.

(In the suffocation of crowd there raises a Napoleon with an idea to end the problem of the masses, the irony is he is elected by the masses and for so many hearts, only one mind is put into action. Democracy affords! )

She invited everyone to a dinner party, she told them she had to something to share, hinting at her retirement plans. Seated at the table where her sister and her husband, her parents and her best friend waiting for the meal to be served.  After the meal, all of them fell one after the other on the ground except April. April was happy that she had sent them to a more peaceful place where sorrow had no name because it was nonexistent. When she thought everything was fine, she found something to do with herself. She too took a bite from an apple and went into an internal sleep. Magic! That’s was magic, her magic.

(Most of the readers love food, family feast, say love feast whatever and so the scene of the feast is here. Wars have been fought on the issues of territorial security and resource scarcity but when there is food on our plate nothing make sense to us, our minds confirm that we do not need a cross-examination of what is being served, hence, measures to tackle poverty was never discussed on a dining table).

Those who read the news of April’s family pretended to be made of logical cells. They watch in awe the reasons for the seasons. Indeed if the upliftment of the social dynamics and the slapping for a rigorous utopia is to be awakened by fulfilling the greatest energy from the grief and to have an elastic unanimous decision then there could have never been a theory and a counter theory.

(Did this story make you cry? If not then this must have made you feel intelligent. There is a saying that every story is a sad story if you read it twice, which includes humourous stories too. If you cannot make out the head and tail of this story, then the movie Upstream Color is there to my rescue).

HOW TO MILK A COW WITHOUT MAKING HER SAY MOO MOO

Winter is knocking at the door. Woolen clothes and trendy boots all on sale for the ones who has little or no knowledge of what slavery means, but that is okay no one here has a problem with how you think.  Death and unholy alliance between the nickel and the penny agreed upon several missions, crisped on the jungle, doomed for an unconventional silence and laughing at the riot which existed only in their mind. What does the endearing machines do and does not, what human being is capable of and what is the height of appreciation one achieves when an ultimate sacrifice was made to ease the pain which has been a medium of our existence for a long time. Between man and woman and God and the wonders of the mind which can be deformed and reformed, love forms the basis of the answer and madness a realm in which it operates.

She didn’t belong to any guild, not to pirates or the poets,

Daddy’s little angel, she was not. He left her-

-mom in torn blouses seduced men for money,

At 12 she had a reputation, why so early?

Blended in blood, seeking for loneliness,

Refuge too was a miser, she forsook her,

Dampen soul, she knew not how to cry,

It was just a collage of nightmares she dared to dream.

Foolish was her heart, she fell for a ragged,

He said she make him suicidal. No, she didn’t meet him,

Crime, he was a different kind of criminal,

All he talked was sex, drugs, guns and sex again,

He said he didn’t care about her, glad she won’t spend a penny on him,

Said he was not the loyal kind so he kept a cat, whose name was Jerry the dog. 

He said she make him suicidal. No, she hasn’t met him,

He was just like a poetry which the poet himself couldn’t understand, 

He wept, he wrote, longed for younger women,

He loved their dirty pillows, high heels and expensive lingerie,

But he was broke, those women didn’t keep him. 

He said she make him suicidal, he missed her, 

That’s bad, he was weak, 

She thought she was not attracted to him, 

He was losing his charm, she has already yawned twice.

Like a routine he called her up on Thursday,

Her life was not a medieval novel, her pity didn’t turn into love.

In her apartment, he came with a gun,

She heard a gunshot, did he shoot himself?

No, the blood on the floor was hers, 

He said she make him suicidal, then why the hell he shot her?

Damn! 

There is no such thing called happy ending, but it is rude to say those bunch of optimist souls are banal.  However, objections are over those people who make their lives brighter and warmer by making others' lives colder and darker. But you do not have to agree on what the defense comes from the other end. When we hear 'ship!’ we don't visualize a ship being captured by some ugly pirates, we frame our imagination somewhat of a ship sailing in the blue pristine waters of some ocean, one of the five oceans. But, dang, there are terms like ‘shipwreck’, ‘cruise vessel mishaps’, ‘ship explosion’ and more. So what? There can be as many personalities in your story, some characters you might live and some characters which you yourself will detest, the irony is you being the creator of these characters your likeness and your dislikes should matter less to you are more to the people who will be the best judge by their right to interpret. Anyway, occasionally we can all milk a cow without making her say moo moo…

THE EIGHT GUYS YOU’LL SEE BACK HOME

My mom's constant nagging and the timely accusation from my sister has tremendously helped me in my writings. Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! Anyway, today I would like to let you know about the eight guys you will see back home. Out of the eight, you might be familiar with at least one of them. And yes, I don’t want to have flings with any of them, I am here for a great family time, I bet ;)

The One who is now branded as ‘Ex!’

Once upon a time you held his hands, kissed him and might have made clumsy love, boo hoo, that is history. Things did not work between you two, you moved on, he moved on.  Your bad luck if he ended up with one of your cousins or the bitchy girl from your college. You might meet him in one of the corners, he might be single, nonetheless, you never liked Nicholas Sparks’ treatment of romance, so you say ‘Hello!’ and walk out without feeling empty.

The One whom you never stopped Crushing

He was cute then, hot now, isn’t he? He is still unemployed, stays with his parents, and got his graduation degree with great obstacles, but it does not matter to you, you were foolish then, you are foolish now. He might be more successful than what I have written in the above lines, he might be married and have six kids, but it does not matter to you because you never got over him, you still have the gigantic infatuation on him.  Oh, Scarlett O’ Hara get over him before someone leaves you by saying, ‘Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!’

The One who never got over You

In some mindless teenage days, you might have smiled at him or accepted the Friendship Day card from him, although it meant nothing to you, for him, it was the beginning of his life-long struggle with Florentino syndrome. You were his puberty fantasy, he had planned a wedding and 50^th Wedding Anniversary with you on his mind. He is not psychotic, he is harmless, so harmless that you have forgotten his existence. Sorry, this post might make you recall someone like him.

The One who now rocks like Zac Efron

Once upon a time he was the awkward teenage guy everyone made fun of. He might have been your classmate or one of the boys from your hood.  His face might have been covered with pimples and he might have been overweight. The society which loves superficially did not tolerate him as the way he was, he was ridiculed now and then. You felt sorry for him and wished upon a star to transform him. Time escaped, now he owns a body to die for, his face looks like one of the Calvin Klein models and the ones who made fun of refuses to accept their misbehaviour. He had the last laugh. Are you happy for him? Yes, you do, yet, make sure you do not fall for him.

The One who is now super Successful

The underdog, the one with the poor grades, the boy who was least expected to succeed. This particular boy has proven everyone wrong. Going by layman’s definition of success, he is super successful. He has a high paying job, has an imported car, a beautiful loving wife who has a million dollar profession of her own, and kids who are doing exceptionally well in their primary school and they go abroad for holidays with his parents and in-laws.  Do you want to call him for delivering the motivational speech at your friend’s (the one who used to bully him) charity event?

The One who was once a Playboy

Once upon a time, he uses to brag about his skills to make a woman go nuts for him. His sexual partners were more than the number of nations (once) under the British Empire.  Surprisingly, he never contacted STD, HIV/AIDS and all shit of diseases transmitted through sex. Now, you are surprised to meet him. He is married and has three daughters, he is a loyal husband and a caring father who spends his weekend changing diapers, cooking and fixing washbasins. Aren’t you happy for such transformation in him? One cannot blame you for plotting an epic revenge if you were one of the women he slept and never cared to call again.

The One who has the status of Celebrity

If there is a term called ‘pseudo-intellectual’ then there should be a term called ‘pseudo-celebrity’ too. Sometimes, there are some individuals who with their talents try to achieve something great, sad, they get stuck in one of the realms and does not crack it further, we call them ‘local celebrities’ but when they are arrogant about and shows off the very little thing they have achieved then we do not mind them calling ‘pseudo-celebrities’. In your home town, you will find a guy lingering around with a guitar, or a book or paint brush or a gas stove, everyone knows him, he has appeared in the local newspapers, however, it hardly matters to you.

The One your family and relatives want to set you up With

You have reached the peak of your marriageable age (stupid social construction), everyone in your family except you is getting panicky. So here comes the guy whom you want to avoid for three reasons, (a) you are single and wants to be this way for some period of time, (b) you are in love with someone which none of your family members is aware of, (c) you are not into guys, however, you are yet to come out of the closet. He might be handsome or moderately good looking, he might have a decent earning job and he might fit perfectly well in your family frame, but you are not ready, which means your family should respect your decision and stop throwing emotional drama.

Do you agree with the list? 

TWO FEATHERS: The love story of my Grandparents

The Young  Couple

They say love can happen at anywhere and anytime, might be while watching Annie Hall or Anime or while doing stuff which you generally do not like. It can happen when you are attending the needs of your dying uncle on the corridor of the hospital or while about to punch the man who stole your helmet. Someone might fall in love with someone in Facebook, get catfished, and end up cursing their stupidity. Someone might fall in love with someone in Facebook, get married, and end up thanking Mark Zuckerberg. Anyway, I am not advertising my relationship counseling skills so let me tell you a nice story, the love story of my maternal Grandparents. They too had a love story, a tolerable, sweet and real love story. Let their second-eldest grandchild (who is apparently me) narrate it to you.

In the beginning of the 1960s while the world was witnessing complex of inter-related cultural and political trends and Nagaland was known as Naga Hills District under the Assam Province, there lived my Grandpa who worked in Assam Police. He was well loved by his superiors for his honesty and meticulous nature. I am told that he was tall and so handsome that all the women who saw him would try to catch a second glimpse of him, I am also told eligible ladies would cook delicious meals to win his attention and affection, come on ladies, that’s the only talent you had???

Since I am done with his intro, let me say something about my Grandma. As cliché as it can get, my Grandma was a nurse, and now you are visualizing some Hollywood wartime romantic movie. She had a girlish innocence which she carried well, and she had full protruding lips which were not in fashion then but is in fashion now.

How did they meet? They met in one of the social gatherings. They started off as friends, but eventually they fell in love and now I do not want to sound like a country love story. However, Shakespeare wrote in 16^th Century, ‘The course of true love never ran smooth’, hence, they had to face a minor problem, which was not so minor, I am just being nice to the optimistic people who thinks their parents will accept the person of their choice in one flicker. My Grandma’s family did not like my Grandpa, maybe they thought their daughter/ sister deserved Dev Anand. Persuasion did not help and she was grounded. My Grandpa had to take a decision for this I put enormous respect on his name, he knew he loved her and she was the only one with whom he wanted to spend his entire life. He followed the oldest model ever known to mankind when the long road is boring and cumbersome, he opted for a shortcut- they eloped. He brought her to his home and no one had anything to say because that is when the literal and the metaphorical terms get conjoined giving a numbness to the people in a clown suit. When the mid- Monsoon started her family had nothing but only blessings to offer.

Let me get a bit naughty here, I don’t know what kind of ‘sweet little nothing’ talks were exchanged between them, but as a third class poet, let me take the privilege to present my improvised and imaginative version of Grandma’s love monologue,

Don’t jump from my window, there are thorns in the rose bushes,

Don’t walk through the door, there are scoundrel mongers and scandal vipers,

Don’t look at the ceiling, there are many holes, we are poor,

Look at my feet, look at your feet and thank the walk, it brought us together.

My Grandpa passed away last year (October 17^th, 2015). On his funeral my granny was angry with him for a simple reason, she told her children, ‘I am mad at your dad for leaving me alone. How can he be so selfish?’

I am glad how their love story ended, they were together until the last days of his life. You see in this world of ours which is infested with deadly diseases like Cancer, HIV/AIDS etc, and now and then launching of new diseases, terrorist attacks, and natural disasters, what lovers have is a moment which is valuable and which should not be simplified into mere typing of  XOXO- axe-oh-axe-oh. I am happy my Grandparents loved and stayed together and produced wonderful children and had the strength to bless their grandchildren.

RAJAT MISHRA BRINGS SOMETHING NEW

SPECIAL FEATURE

        

Meet Rajat Mishra the new poet in this old literary world. He has a Bachelor Degree in Electronics and Communication engineering and currently, he is a Research Scholar at Centre for Studies in Science Policy, Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi. His anthology of poems Kuchh Naya Kahne Baitha Hoon is the talk of the town. Glad that he agreed to talk about it to us. 

Q.There is a saying, ‘Every Romeo becomes a poet at one point of time,’ do you adhere to such saying?

Rajat- I agree, people in love write good poetry on love at least, at one point of time. But for becoming a poet one does not have to become a Romeo. I have never fallen in deep love but I have been writing since childhood. I sometimes write on love and heart breaks but that too are more related to my crushes or taking inspiration from other stories. On subjects of love sometimes I feel my poems lack the “feel” which I find in that of the Majanu(s)’. 

Q.What exactly your anthology of poems is about?

Rajat- It is “Kuchh Naya Kahne Baitha Hoon” which literally means, “taking a seat to write something new.” It is a collection of some of my poems, written since school days. So I did not write poems specifically for this. The book talks about a very wide variety of topics ranging from socio-political issues, religion, riots, women issues to break up, sadness, inspiration, child-like innocence, nature etc. The main idea of my poems is to look at the things which are not visible at the first sight. Poems are not just about emotions and heart; rationality and mind play very important role. All these thought processes form the crux of my book. Sometimes these poems try to put a mirror in front of a person and society. 

Q.How serious are you about poetry? Is it just going to be a hobby or you are planning to take it up as a career?

Rajat- I am serious about poetry but it can’t be a career option for me, for the simple reason that it is not lucrative (and my father will kill me). Demand for Hindi books are going down and poetry books are further poor in sales.

Q.Any particular poet you grew up reading and who has inspired you so much that you ape his/her style?

Rajat- Mathilisharan Gupt and Ramdhari Singh ‘Dinkar’ are the two poets who have inspired me a lot. The love started with Hindi text books and never stopped afterwards. I try to ape their styles at times.

Q.Your poems are written in Hindi, but for my blog readers who can’t read Hindi would you mind translating one? Please!

Rajat- Ohh yes. I would love to. 

                         

                       बदला या माफी

मेरे जिगर का टुकड़ा लेटा

अपने ही हाथों से खाक करूँ.

बता मेरे धर्मांध शिकारी

कत्ल करूँ की माफ़ करूँ.

जीवन की इकलौती पूंजी,

निज हाथों बर्बाद करूँ.

बता मेरे धर्मांध शिकारी

कत्ल करूँ की माफ़ करूँ.

धर्म तेरा पछताव कहे है,

मेरा भी माफी का आशिक़.

नफ़रत को विष घोल उबालूँ

या दिल अपना साफ करूँ. 

बता मेरे धर्मांध शिकारी

कत्ल करूँ की माफ़ करूँ.

भूल गये उसे उसके बंदे,

राह छोड़ किस ओर चले,

मेरी नही तो उसकी सुन ले

किस ईश्वर को आगाह करूँ.

बता मेरे धर्मांध शिकारी

कत्ल करूँ की माफ़ करूँ.

English translation

Revenge or Pardon

A mother has lost her only child in riots. She is talking to the killer, a religious fanatic.

A piece of my heart is lying dead,

making it dust with my own hands. 

tell me o my fanatic killer!

should I kill you or forgive you.

Only wealth of my life,

I am destroying it myself.

tell me o my fanatic killer!

should I kill you or forgive you.

Your religion talks of remorse

mine is a lover of absolution.

should  I boil my hatred with poison; 

or cleanse my heart.

tell me o my fanatic killer!

should I kill you or forgive you.

His children have forgotten him,

and lost their path.

if not me, listen to him;

which God should I caution?

tell me o my fanatic killer!

should I kill you or forgive you.

Q.When can we expect your next anthology of poems?

     

     Rajat- If all goes well,then probably in one or two years. 

Thank you!

***Interested reader(s) can order his anthology of poem from Amazon. Kuchh naya kahne baitha hoon (Hindi) Paperback – 2016 by rajat kumar mishra (Author)goo.gl/7Np4uW