THE YEAR THAT WAS 2016: THE ROMANTIC VERSION
There are three types of people in this world whose humour are- 1) we are all mad here, let’s laugh together, 2) he is madder than me, she is less mad than me, I laugh, 3) I am not mad, but you call me mad, I’ll sue you and you’ll become poor, I’ll laugh at your bankruptcy. No matter which category you fall under, a bit of humour and wit to appreciate sarcasm can make someone prevent from catching asshole arrest syndrome.
The January-My year began with a man blackmailing to kill himself
slowly by turning into an alcoholic if I did not go on a date with him. The citizen’s duty to me made me ask which drink would poison him. He replied, beer! I told him to carry on with his plan.
The February-Valentine’s Day sucked as usual. I got Swarovski earrings from an unemployed guy. Nothing serious happened between us, but I kept on wondering from where he got the money to buy those earrings. Months later I got to hear that his ex-girlfriend was a saleswoman in one of the malls.
The March-I stayed loyal to academics. It was a love-hate relationship.
The April-I stayed loyal to academics. Academics suffers from the bi-polar condition.
The May-Someone from my past showed up, he was looking handsome in a hotel bar, and I could not stop, so baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover. This is Chainsmoker’s Closer, kindly skip it.
The June-Spent my birthday in Estonia- witnessed the midnight sun, a cute guy hit on me…I didn’t know I was this cute. My life is not Yash Chopra’s movie, romance in a foreign location? You must be kidding.
The July-No time for romance worked my ass out on my Thesis. Thesis submitted. To live a fabulous life is not easy.
The August-Moved out from the University with mixed feeling like loose motion and constipation at the same time. Damn! No man run after me on a cycle like in the movie Barfi!
The September- Started dating the richest bachelor of Nagaland. Wow! What a feminist decision.
The October- Still dating the richest bachelor of Nagaland. Wow! What a feminist dedication.
The November- That rich bachelor was not so dumb, he got to know I was trying to scam him. I defended myself by saying, ‘My love might be a scam, but US Election was the greatest scam of this year.’ I am sure he feels better now.
The December-I wanted Macbook Air as a Christmas gift. I know Santa was not going to gift me. I have been a very bad girl ;) and he is no Christian Grey.
***Santa does not exist, but together Santa-Banta exists in India…two fat men, middle aged, round face, one leads- the other one follows, hehe! You got the picture.
Welcome, 2017. I know you are going to be sexy. Muah!