HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR PhD YEARS


*I know Ph.D. candidates from Science streams will be like what the hell is she saying??! 


Decide to enroll in the Ph.D. program.

To reward your decision, roll a newspaper, roll it thick, hit your head with it.

Choose a topic of your choice, choose a topic which your supervisor might approve of; choose a topic which has a high market value.

Know that your supervisor is the Ultimate God, the Creator, the Protector, the Destroyer, the Judge and the Final Authority. Hence, never ever screw your relationship with your supervisor, never, never at any cost.

If your supervisor does not like the topic of your choice, then argue reasonably, but never try to outsmart her/him.

If you like your topic and your supervisor likes your topic then the Lady Academics has showered her blessing upon you. If you don’t like your topic, but your supervisor likes your topic then you can either change your supervisor (and stop reading this article from now on) or stuck to that topic, eventually, you will fall in love with that topic; like any other arrange marriage. If you like your topic, but your supervisor don’t like your topic then start reading a book titled, ‘How to live alone in this mean cold world?’

If your research involves fieldwork then gear yourself to meet snobbish academicians, rude people, and selfish weather.

If your research is purely theoretical then buy Aspirins, take care of your migraine.

If your want your Thesis to be outstanding then get your heart broken into pieces. You know there is a saying, those who are unlucky in love are lucky in rational thinking.

Invitation for international conferences/ seminars/ winter-summer schools will come not as a perk, but like a mutual investment. Thus, it is better to read the offer document carefully before investing.

With regard to weight, know that writing a Thesis has a different effect on different people. Some may notice their ass and belly becoming heavier and some may see themselves turning into dried autumn leaves. In the rarest of the case, some people’s weight remains the same.  I really doubt the quality of the thesis produced by people whose weight remained the same, no offense.

There will be marriage and job pressure because we are always surrounded by people who thinks marriage is an integral part of human life~ legal permission for procreation is a must~ we are also surrounded by people who overestimate us and people who underestimate us.

Work on your publications. Treat yourself if your paper gets accepted. If it gets rejected then think of that High School boy whose love letter is yet to get a response, you are in a better position than him.

All kinds of tensions will visit you. The ‘breathe in, breathe out’ exercise won’t help you, because? You have already donated your lung.

Apart from all these, the day you are awarded your Ph.D. degree the feeling is overwhelming. Article 18 of the Indian constitution too does not have a problem with your ‘Dr’ title. To have a prefix ‘Dr’ before your name is so powerful, provided no one had ghostwritten your Thesis.  

Comments

  1. this is so true ....and well written and full of humor

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