Friday, November 13, 2015

MISLEADING ENCOUNTER: A PARODY OF FILMY LIKE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

This story has two protagonists, a boy named Abe and a girl named Abigail. No, no they are not lovers, they are best of friends. They do not fall in love with each other; they remind best of friends till the end. By now you must be thinking whose story is this anyway? Well for this query of yours, you have to continue reading. Trust me, Abigail is a good narrator, she will narrate you not in bits but in detail. The next voice will be of Abigail. 
Hi! I am Abigail. I am telling this with immense liberty, a liberty which comes from the thought that my friend Abe will never be able to defend himself as he does not have access to information regarding the fact that I have narrated this to people. He does not have an account in any of the social networking sites, well he is a dinosaur.
This incident happened a year ago when I went to my sweet little town for summer break. Usually, the first question which my friend asks when I land my feet in the town is, “What did you get for me?‟ I thought that summer could be relieving as the first sentence my friend, the hero of the story uttered was, “I got to tell you something.” I was wrong.  So this is it, he met a stranger, a beautiful stranger in our town's famous shopping arcade, one look and he was smitten. He did not know the name of the woman or what her age was, or her shoe number, all he knew was the colour of her dress which was blue, I did not ask him what shade of blue it was for it could have made the matter worse. He requested me to help him find the lady, not that she was lost, but he had lost his heart to her. With great coaxing from his side, I agreed to help, reminding him that there is no such thing as free lunch which means he has to return my favour.   Thus began the hunt.  Like in movies depending on the budget and the storyline the hero is supposed to have a medium of transport varying from horse to bicycle to high-fi sports car to telepathy. My friend had a second-hand motorbike; I believe it was forth-hand purchased from the famous Karol Bagh market of Delhi. It was not like those fancy bikes used in Dhoom series, that bike had a peculiar character of its own, first, we had to push it, then my friend had to warm up the machine by taking vertical rounds, and unlike other bikes, it produces very strange noise every time he hit the break. Anyway, we drew a chart, first, we started off by visiting all colleges (he said, she did look that young to be in school), then churches, shopping arcades, localities, clinics and hospitals, banks, offices, okay, we even went to schools thinking that she might be a teacher.  If there was any award called ‘Desperate Romeo went Crazy’ then he would have won. Standing in the scorching heat, unwilling to come under my yellow umbrella from ‘How I Met Your Mother‟, made him tan. What stayed with him throughout the hunt were his chewing gum, MP3, bike and obviously me.  Things were not happening the way we wanted. He behaved as if he had repeatedly flunked in his Algebra paper. We concluded if we can get a picture of her through whatever little memory he had then it could make things a bit easy. So, the next day we went to a sketch artist who was ready to help us in cheapest rate. He showed a sample of his sketches, judging by his works I knew it was going to be the complete waste of time. Abe started describing her, he sketched accordingly. The whole process took an hour. When it was finally completed, Abe with his eyes closed and smiles that could have killed all the guinea pigs in the world requested, “Abigail, tell me how does she look please?”
 “What! She looks like Steven Tyler?” I swallowed my honesty.
With puzzle all over his face, he took the sketchbook from me. I started laughing, he joined me. After paying the less talented artist, we went to the shop where he saw her. He was already nervous in front of the beautiful shopkeeper. Pinching me was a good idea to push me towards the counter. The lady asked me what I wanted, whether shampoo, shower gel or cream, we were there not to buy anything but I have to admit they had a good collection of knickers. I had to clear my throat before asking her the questions, the answer to which would give us a clue. I asked her name, how long she has been working and everything unrelated to the mission. Finally, I asked whether she has seen any of her customers in blue coloured dress, she laughed for that was the silliest thing, we made her day. Abe, the desperate wanted to see the footage of CCTV, the date of which he remembered so well. I dusted off the idea; we were there for love quest not for some detective work. That day too we went home like hunters without the kill. When all the attempts failed, I consoled him by saying that she might be an angel, who came down to earth just to give him momentary joy. I convinced him to appreciate our effort. He reciprocated my help by agreeing to treat me. He took me to the street which was famous for spicy snacks. We enjoyed the appetite in silence. Never knew what went wrong, both of us got stomach infection. Both of us met in the same hospital accompanied by our caring moms. According to the appointment, my turn was after him, when the receptionist called out his name, instead of marching towards the doctor’s door, he stood still with eyes fixed on the woman coming out the other room. 
“Abigail, she is the one,” he whispered looking at the ‘beautiful’. 
“Where? Ah....but she is pregnant.‟ I was shocked, her belly was humongous. 
“Yeah, and I am not the father of the baby,” he looked at me. 
“That’s something I already know,” I whispered.   
Although she did not know anything about Abe, it did not impair her beauty. She was beautiful; her smile was kind, her baby would be lucky to such a celestial mother. 
Thank you, Abigail, for beautifully narrating the story. Sad that Abigail does not know Abe is here with us. Now, let us hear a word or two from Abe who is undoubtedly the hero of his story, oops, this story. 
I am Abe. Abigail has done an 180-degree twist to the story. The real stuff is this, when all the attempts fail, Abigail and I went to her house for a cup of tea, we sat in her balcony which embraced the green paddy field. She circled me in her arms and said not to worry; I looked into her eyes asked forgiveness. She thought I was apologising for all the troubles she had to undergo because of me; she was my friend but could not read my mind that day. I corrected her, I told her, “Abigail, there wasn’t any woman in blue. I cooked up the whole thing to mock your fondness for love at first sight stories.” All Abigail could reply was, “Whatever! When I’ll narrate this story to someone or to everyone, I’ll make sure they fall for my version.‟ 
Thanks, Abe. Guys! Abe and Abigail are good friends and they have equally bored us. 
*as appeared in the Student's Bridge magazine/September2015*

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