HE WAS A POETRY

She grew from a romantic girl to a passionate woman, yet, she knew from the start that men are not the only one capable of scaling the madness when stirred by a force so strong that had made the strongest of emperors stoop and see the wonders. Some years ago I sat by her bedside to listen and write what she had to say...

 He was a poetry in a land that

-was still learning the alphabet,

And every day for the rest of my life

-I told him,

In all your moods I will love you,

In all your movements I will love you,

In all your engagements I will love you

In all yours avatars I will love you,

In all the seasons I will love you,

I will love you, I will love you,

I will love your hi, I will love your bye,

And I will love you more when I will know you more.

When you are low, when you are high,

When you laugh, when you cry,

When you smile, when you pout,

When you spark, when you dim,

When you are asleep, when you are awake,

When you run, when you are still,

When you dance, when you hop,

When you sing, when you cough,

When you are alone, when you are in a crowd,

When you are healthy, when you are sick,

When you are certain, when you are confused,

When you are generous, when you are prudent,

When you are hot, when you are cold,

When you are sweet, when you are blunt,

When you are drinking, when you are eating,

When you are hugging, when you are kissing,

When you are wise, when you are silly,

When you are the captain, when you are the pirate,

When you are the king, when you are the pauper,

When you are the writer, when you are reader,

When you are the speaker, when you are the listener,

When you are the teacher, when you are the taught,

When you are the producer, when you are the consumer,

When you are the player, when you are the spectator,

When you are the hero, when you are the villain,

When you are the good news, when you are the bad news,

When you are the victor, when you are the vanquished,

When you are the persecutor, when you are the defendant,

When you are the daddy, when you are the son,

When we are at peace, when we are at war,

When you are rich, when you are broke,

When you joke, when you are serious,

When you are sober, when you are drunk,

When you are licking an ice-cream, when you are sucking a cotton candy,

When you are in pyjamas, when you are in designer coat,

When you are in white, when you are in red,

When you are climbing a tree, when you are descending from a mountain,

When you are riding a bike, when you swimming in a river,

When you are greedy, when you are needy,

When it is January, when it is December,

When it is spring, when it is autumn,

When it is raining, when it is humid and dry,

When you having burden, when you are at ease,

When you are in street, when you at home,

When you are the relief, when you are the agony,

When you are standing on a river, when you are wandering in a desert,

When you are on blue sea, when you are in grey land,

When you are sweating with humidity, when you are freezing with cold,

When you are reciting a poem, when you are appreciating an art,

When you are chasing a butterfly, when you are feeding a puppy,

When you are skating, when you are in a rollercoaster,

When you are unfurling, when you are folding,

When you are lighting a candle, when you are blowing off a lamp,

When you are lying, when you are honest,

When you are a distraction, when you are an attraction,

When you are covered with cloves, when you are pouring the wine,

When you are hooked to books, when you are booked with hooks,

When you are steady, when you are clumsy,

When you seek, when you find,

When you are strong, when you are weak,

When you hope, when you despair,

When you glorify, when you condemn,

When you embrace, when you refute,

When you are in light, when you are in darkness,

When you are under a shade, when you are in a spotlight,

When you take responsibilities, when you are carefree,

When you collect, when you break,

When you stitch, when you tear,

When you create, when you copy,

When you admit, when you deny,

When you compliment, when you criticize,

When you exclaim, when you whisper,

When you decipher, when you are tangled,

When you are with me, when you are away,

When you are easy, when you are tough,

When you take pride, when you are humble,

When you like perfection, when you like imperfection,

When you are witty, when you are boring,

When you are imaginative, when you are dull,

When you are captivating, when you are repelling,

When you are bizarre, when you are ordinary,

When you repent, when you gratify,

When you are thirty, when you are sixty,

When you act like a child, when you act like a grandpa,

When you are honoured, when you are humiliated,

When you are alive, and even after you die,

In all your ways, and in many more ways - I will love you like I love you.

BARBIE GIRL IN A WOMEN’S WORLD

   

Today is International Women’s Day (8^th March), tomorrow is Barbie’s Birthday (9^th March), that’s what I call irony.

Some years ago, I read about ‘Barbie’ having a negative impact on a young girl’s life. It was argued that girls tend to develop ‘body image’ issues. Well, I had a collection of twelve Barbie, now I am left with only six, does not manner, I do not play it anyway- it might look creepy if I do. But, Barbie was just a plastic doll for me, never an inspiration.

What did I do with my collection of Barbie?

My Barbie collection comprised of the bathing tub, kitchen set, fridge, bicycle, I had Ken (Barbie’s boyfriend) and Skipper (Barbie’s sister) and her young friends Nikita and Sunny, which were sold only in India and Windy. My favourite was Doctor Barbie because that was the first Barbie I had, it was kept locked.

As for the others, I put life on them and controlled them by being the writer and the director of the play where they were the actors. I was no Professor. X, but I made sure that they did their role assigned to them. The funniest part, I was also the one to say the dialogue in different tones, to make their plastic limbs move, picking and throwing them as per the demand of the scene. Every time it was a different story. The story was never- Barbie A and Barbie B are friends; Barbie A comes to meet Barbie B for a party and gets introduced to Barbie A’s boyfriend Ken, the later then steals the boyfriend, fight, tears, but true love wins. No, that was never the theme of my story. It was more of time travel, treasure hunt, ghost, detective etc. Their role changed according to the story, the genre depended on my mood, their character’s names were weird and the language was highly inventory. I was impartial, if in one story Barbie ‘A’ saved the day, then in the other story; I made her the evil villain. All those fun, all those happiness, I never looked at them as an inspirational model, they were more like my plastic playmates, and playmates come in different sizes and colours and characters. I enjoyed my childhood with Barbie around; they never bitched or abandoned me.

Dying while trying to be Barbie: folly-fully half

What is worrying the young girls so much? Dieting and being thin.  It is recorded that of all people with eating disorders, 90% are women between the ages of 12 and 25. And statistics shows that girls in the age group of 6 to 10 who ate significantly less food were also the ones who played with either a very thin doll or an average-sized doll. The epitome of thin doll comes down to Barbie, which literally means they starve themselves to death just to be Barbie.

Why should such young minds strive to be a plastic doll and not aim for higher goals? It has been argued that such anxieties are the product of media culture and society that praises thin body above anything else, leading to devaluation of the woman who does not fit into the frame of ‘size-zero’.

In the last decade, even the small towns of my state have become heterogeneous, stratified and fragmented. The emerging residential fragments tend to vary significantly in terms of physical and psychological environment. Further, towns are divided into number of localities in which imagined differences between cultures and classes are established as social as well as spatial boundaries bringing about growing consumer economy resulting in the increase in number and variety of products, such that the understanding of choice become more subtle and complex, but individuals tend to make choices in accordance with the demands mark by the society. In all these, we fail to appreciate the essence of living, if our society or peer insults a ‘healthy weight’, we risk being like an unattainable ideal/idol like Barbie, and we presume it to be normal.

However, if we think (there may be other arguments) such influences brought about by the agents of media and market imposes on our self-esteem and distorts the healthy way of living then why cannot we tell our friends, the young girls, our daughters that staying ‘alive is more better than dying trying to be a Barbie.’

*I don't have any problem with a thin woman, they are lovely as long as they are not destroying themselves just to get approval. And yes, I am not trying to be funny, people do not get my humour anyway. 

IT IS A MESSAGE NOT TATTERS: QUESTIONS COUPLE SHOULD ASK

I know life is not always based on the answers we get, but also the questions we ask. Sometimes we fear that our questions might reveal our utmost fear. Sometimes we do not have the strength to hear the answer. There is an old saying that the one who asks the question is also in the same perplexing position as the one who has to answer it.  

With the soaring divorce rate, the couple who wants to tie the knot should sit, sip coffee or beer or pineapple juice and have an introspective session based on the questions deem necessary, however, the questions should not sound like a terrorist  interrogation. Please try refraining from asking cliché questions like-Will you love me more than money? Will you allow me to have the remote-control? Will you love me even if I put on weight or grow bald?

The sample of questions I want couples to ask is given below,

What if your family never likes me, not in another ten years or twenty or forever?

Will you try every possible way to smuggle me inside their heart? Will you be caught in the middle and blame me for that, like forever? Will you settle for their happiness?

What if I am caught in a scam?

Will you try to make me come out clean or will you be with the law so tangled that you will make sure I get into the prison?

What if I get Alzheimer, a disease so hard to handle?

Will you read our story to me day in and day out and help me with the medications or just be nice due to societal pressure? Will you transfer me to a shelter home?

*P.S. Even if someone has to read the story to their respective partner, I pray that it won’t be like Noah Calhoun’s love story, for it amounts to plagiarism.

What if I cheat on you?

Will you divorce me? Will you commit a passion crime? Will you give me another chance or will you ignore it and counter-revenge?

What if I die before you?

Will you live and fight the world for both of us? Will you take care of our kids, families and keep the love alive? Will you be quick in falling in love again?

What if I commit suicide, a death least imagined by you?

Will you curse me for being selfish? Will you forgive me? Will you respect my decision? Will you be able to understand that all along I was under some depression which you were not aware of and that you are not the reason?

What if we raise kids which cannot be termed ‘normal’ in the worldly sense? Say elder son is a shoplifter; daughter is a teenage mother, younger son a drug addict.

Will you cry in your secret chamber and never talk to me? Will you blame me as a moron with no parenting knowledge? Will you hold my hand and face the world, come what may?

What if after 15 years (or more) of marriage you realise that I am not the one for you, ‘your true soul mate’?

Will you be in a position to carry it forward? Will you play it cool just for social obligation or will you be honest and courageous enough to tell me?

What if I kill you?

If I have to kill you then I won’t be asking this question and I won’t bother to hear the answer because I do not want to hear it. There is more of a sentiment involved and less of understanding.

   “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on when you stop your story.”

                            Orson Welles