Wednesday, November 19, 2014

MISHAPS: THE REJECTED EDITION REVIEW

Come on,  all the people out there who is reading this article knows how many shots make a perfect dating scene in a movie, especially Bollywood. But, it does not happen in real life, why? Because in real life no one knows the script and decoding the metaphor of two abnormally big roses kissing each other has made us mature enough to know that we are not a hero/heroine of the high budget movie. And the movie has its own edits.
In movies, when a guy and a girl meets the music descends, obviously! We hold our respiration till the magic strikes and they envelopes in warm hug followed by a perfect kiss, white pearly teeth-no decayed gums. In real life, at least, in my life things have never happened that way. Dating is fun; of course, there are psycho rapists out there of whom a woman should be careful of. However, this article is not suspense thriller-chiller; it is light and funny and very philosophical, I am talking about utilitarianism. Anyway, here I go, trust me, I am going to be gentle as ever, throw me designer shoes if you find me nasty.
Scene one#withcourtly
Once upon a time, there was a handsome man with six packs and biceps which did not look good for his short height. He invited scene one for a lunch @ his under constructed home. He said he was a great cook, but none of the dishes had salt in it, thought that his family was high on blood pressure. When scene one was about to go for the second serve, his beloved mother joined them, she did not have a problem with her, ruckus she was a disciplinarian. She told scene one that a woman should not act foodie in front of a man. Scene one looked at her then at her son and said, ‘I wish this house was a hotel.’ End of the story.
Scenetwo#withbrotherofapossessivesister
Once upon a time, there was a dark, handsome, intelligent man with  a poor sense of style, he had a sister who was not happy to take the trophy of best supporting actress, she was possessive of her brother which was written all over her face. He invited Scene two for a lunch in his one room apartment. He did not cook; indeed, he ordered from somewhere, the food was nice.  His sister did not speak the entire hour, finally, when Scene two was done with the food, she complimented his sister's beauty (well, Scene two lied. She did not like her pout lips, it was so fake). She replied, ‘I know. Everyone tells me so. You don’t have to remind me.’ You know what Scene two said in return? She said, ‘I was just kidding.’ Like a good brother, he found Scene two’s defensive humorous statement offensive, yeah. Anyway, every time Scene two wanted to kiss him, his sister’s proud and obsessive face crossed her mind. So, she bade good-bye. End of the story.
 
Scenethree#withkleptomania
Once upon a time, there was a real charmer who was fresh out from M&B novel. He taught Scene three how mysterious Bermuda Triangle was. Every time she met him, she lost something from her bag. He was magical, not literally, though. Suddenly, one fine day he burst out into tears, just to confess that he was kleptomania. Scene three forgave him but did not take him back, psychotherapy was expensive and thief looks cool only in the movie. Case solved. End of the story.
Scenefour#withcalculative
Once upon a time, there was a nerdy guy, he confessed his love to Scene four they dated, but he got a job, they maintained a long distance relationship but he married his colleague. He remained unhappy with his wife’s beauty, Scene four brought him down to earth by shouting, 'When I first saw you I thought you were the prince of squirrel.' God be with this marriage. End of the story.
Concluding remarks
So, once upon a time, there was a heavy rain and all the foxes in sheep’s wool were drenched. I am not sheep, I am a German shepherd, I am not scared of the foxes, but I do pray for timely rain.

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