Marriages are made in heaven that is what the saying goes, but the ceremonious bills are to be paid on earth that is what the professionals say. Every couple or most of the couple want their wedding to be a memorable affair; most genuine reason may be because no one expects to marry a second time, although hardly anyone knows what the future holds. This feeling of once in a lifetime occasion plays a major role in deciding how big and fat the wedding should be. In Nagaland, all around the year, weddings are held but the timeline of November to March is considered as wedding season. A friend of mine in a disgusted tone complained, “What I hate about this season is the traffic jam.” Yes, it is true, especially if the venue is in some residential area where there is no proper parking space.
The course of wedding planning which starts with the engagement party, the exchange of rings, followed by refreshment or a lunch or a dinner, adds up to the expenses in a sneaky way. As the wedding date is set; correspondence is done through the wedding card, and wedding card is of various patterns, designs and inks, even the cheapest of wedding card will not be free of cost, and when ordered in bulk comes around some few thousand rupees. Who is the bride and who is the groom, where is the venue, when is the date? Please refer the wedding card, yes, it is a necessity, but it could be very pompous if the wedding card has musical recordings in it, right? What did the bride wear? Obviously, a wedding dress; the bride could like to wear something not ordinary. If they want to make it big, then they might settle for some international labels, but if they settle for the dress bought from the local boutique it also works fine, however, cost of the wedding dresses has shot up with years, in my personal experience, some sixteen years ago one of my relatives got her wedding dress switched for ten grants, recently my friend who did aim for a low budget wedding got her dress designed for twenty-five grants; which was believed to be the cheapest in the boutique’s catalogue, indeed the entire trousseau is quite expensive. As for the grooms, whatever may be the colour, suits are the most preferred wear for the occasion; sometimes what comes more expensive than the suits are the formal shoes. What makes a wedding successful is the proper coordination of the beauticians, photographers, stage decorators, the catering service, and the return gifts for the guest who will be bringing the wedding gift; in fact these are channels which swallow a big portion of wedding expenditures.
Wedding ceremonies have been an indicator of wealth, the distinction between have and have-nots can be easily made out through the lavish expenditures. With regard to the guest; they tend to be more conscious of what to wear when they get the notion of what the budget incurred would be. The concept of ‘low budget wedding and high budget wedding’ has been a clear indicator of the class divide that is emerging in Naga society. What is fascinating is the rapid commercialisation of the occasion. The heavyweights in the society have shown their wealth through the wedding gifts presented to the couples, ranging from a designer jewelry set to imported cars to buying lands or even constructing architect designed houses to financing the honeymoons abroad. With respect, the money that is pumped in the weddings is often parent’s money, and the irony is one who is unemployed ends up celebrating the grandest of wedding compared to his peers who are working with a decent income. Once I had a conversation with an elderly gentleman, he was all happy with the splendor wedding of his son, quite bluntly I inquired whether he will ever regret spending the huge amount if the marriage does not work, he said, “I will not regret; I spend because I could and I should.” Maybe at the end of the day, the wedding expense depends on what wedding means to different people, maybe the perception matters, maybe the definition of ‘successful wedding’ matters. Indeed, it could be nice if we ponder over it.
One of my good friends who is into wedding planning gave the opinion that to subdue the wedding expenditure it could be better if there is a set target of how much should be spend, and could be wise if the two families consider seriously where they could like to spend most of the budget; whether in photography, food, decorations or trousseau. The Dimapur Ao Church Arogo has come up with an appreciable work of organising mass weddings, where refreshments and decorations are sponsored by the Church, the concept of it found acceptable for it helps the families who are not financially rich. By the way, I am yet to attend a wedding where it is written in the back of the wedding card that the monetary gift received will be given to a charity; well it could be great if some couples come up with this idea, after all, marriage is a union of two hearts where people love to share their happiness with others; so what harm it would be if they give it in monetary form to the people who needs it the most.
