LINES OF GRATITUDE FOR MY (IMAGINARY) FRIEND

I have seen you, I have touched you;

You possessed a fine skin and curly locks,

Your dress was always like the clear sky;

You had blood lips, full and quiet.

I liked the black butterfly clip you wore;

And I liked the way you cared about my dolls,

You had a broad forehead like mine,

Never did you open your mouth but always nodded to what I said.

Dear you were the solace in my distress,

And you were my companion in my toothache;

You were the jar where I poured complaints of this adult world.

*The edited version of this poem can be found in Ayangti Longkumer's Magic Quill.

THE LAST LETTER TO THE KING OF ROMANCE: REVIEW OF JAB TAK HAI JAAN

                                 

Dearest Uncle Yash,                              

Happy Diwali! I hope you are happy wherever you are. As a Diwali treat for myself; and a way of paying tribute to you, I bought a movie ticket for Jab Tak Hai Jaan. I went alone, with a big muffler tied around my neck, I am down with cold, but how could I missed it. I had other reasons that made me go for the movie’s first-day’ second show (12:30 pm). Well, I wanted to know whether SRK died at the end, as per the popular rumour it was supposed to be so and I did want to know of the two heroines which one gets Samar Anand (SRK’s name in the movie). Thanks for making the popular rumour a pure exaggeration, and thanks for making me understand that the second heroine is second heroine indeed, and at the end of the picture the lady which occupies the larger portion of the promotional poster gets the hero. I liked the witty lines in the movie, and I like Anushka Sharma’s name Akira. In fact, Akira is the liveliest of all the characters, and I could not stop but admire her long legs. I am sure that Katrina as Meera gave you a hard time to make her act. She wore awesome designer clothes, matching accessories, hot boots, non-animal tested make-ups, she was beautiful, your archetypical heroine, but other than that she was frozen by the London’s winter.

The ‘Get Real Please’ part of the movie is that SRK as a bomb defusing expert does not use any protection jacket (and he is the suppose to have the record of being the highest bomb defuser in the WORLD), he has his reasons for not using the jacket and it is well cited in the movie, but come on he is not Captain Planet no?  Please don’t mind but don’t you think there was too much of accident in the movie, but I am happy that you handled the memory lost part very well; I mean you did not allow SRK to dirty the room or his body like Amir did in Ghajini. The songs were fine not all, though, I really liked the ‘Challa’ song; the background score was excellent, after all, A.R.Rahman. Uncle, don’t you worry, your movie will be a super-duper hit, after all, the movie’s contender is Son of Sardar and not Talaash, so stay cool. Come the Award functions and I bet that your Jab Tak Hai Jaan will take away most or all the awards, and there are many reasons attached to it, let me not get political, but I could like you to get the Best Director Award posthumously.

Let me say that it was not your best movie but it is indeed a remarkable movie and will always be in my mind jab tak hai jaan. Tired of reading such a long letter? Okay, I will stop here.

                                                                                                   

Love

Ayangti Longkumer

              

                                 

            

THE TOILET RULE

                                              

When life hates you, what will you do?

When your lover cheats on you, what will you do?

When your best friend is envious of you, what will you do?

When your friends conspire against you, what will you do?

When your parents love you not, what will you do?

When the society does not understand you, what will you do?

When the State is happy to butcher you, what will you do?

When the religion you grew up believing in deceives you, what will you do?

When you begin to doubt your very own existence, what will you do?

Remember what Toilet Rule teaches us, “Dude! Just don’t sit, do something.”

HE SHOWED HIS PYTHON TO CHASE HER AWAY

So there was a bee, the daughter of the Queen. All day she could fly from flower to flower but none could say how graceful she was, for she was not. Her mother chased her out from her palace and commanded her to work in a field where she could learn the art of living and not of dreaming. As the days went by the field routine became boring, so boring that she thought of constructing a window. Then one day a drake entered the field, well the bee was late that day, as she reached the field the drake flashed a smile at her. She turned around to make sure that the smile was for her (till date she has not figured out what was that smile for). She liked the drake instantly; after all, she had the ability to like anyone. The drake has a poor collection of pants, he wore rather too tight pants which were pulled up to the chest, and which clearly made his ugly legs more bowed. As she was someone who liked to help people in distress, she befriended the drake and helped him pick the suitable pants. The drake never carried change with him; the bee lent him thirty bucks to buy worms for his stomach. The bee often dreamed of riding a wild stallion like Genghis Khan in the mountain ranges of Mongolia; she too dreamed of the drake swimming majestically on her mother’s Royal pond while on the surface he looked calm and cool but inside the water he was paddling hard. The drake was not a lonely man, he had his duck, but how did it matter to her for she could fly. One day, she met her old friend the country mouse who knew all the smells of the world; the mouse told her that the drake was indeed a rich hawk. She wanted her token of appreciation for all the good deeds she did for him, after all, she was more like a nanny than a friend. He too treated her more like a nanny, and if so then she wanted her help to materialize into something tangible. But, when she pinged him for some monetary assistance, he shooed her off with his python, I mean the real python (let’s not get dirty here).