Love, Shaadi aur Gleeden

After the buzz about Bumble, Tinder, Hinge and category specific like Grindr, Muzz and SeniorMatch, there is Gleeden. Hence, what is Gleeden? It is a dating app designed for extramarital relationships and discreet meet-ups. It was launched in France, introduced in the market in 2009 and marketed as, ‘made by women, for women.’  What interesting is, it has significant number of users in India, making India one of its largest and fastest growing market. The surge in adoption of such dating app in urban India among married individuals could be a result of Supreme Court India’s 2018 judgment which decriminalized adultery, if adultery was a crime then who would have installed such an app.

Since, Gleeden is marketed as, ‘designed by women, for women’, women use the service completely free of charge, while men purchase a credit based subscription model to initiate charge. Even so, the overall user ratio stands at 65% men and 35% women and the users’ ages are between 30 to 45. Bengaluru has the highest user followed by Hyderabad and Delhi, showing the cities is taking the lead, but some of the urban towns are fast catching up. A survey was conducted to identify the primary motivators for using this app, the result shows, loneliness, emotional neglect and time constraint caused by demanding corporate schedule driving users to seek a digital escape. No wonder, the majority of the users reside in the cities.

Let’s talk about the reaction of our society. Traditional Indian society, conservative family groups, and moral watchdogs look at Gleeden users with sharp condemnation. As marriage in India is widely regarded as a scared union, a lifelong commitment, and using an app to facilitate affairs is viewed as an outright subversion of family values. Sociologists and relationship experts view the app’s popularity less as a moral failing and more as a ‘mirror’ to the quiet cracks in modern urban marriages. While society broadly judges any user, women face significantly harsher social policing and shame than men if discovered. Relationship commentators point out that the female surge highlights a silent shift where women are seeking emotional fulfillment rather than staying stuck in lonely marriages.

I wondered what if both husband and wife are secretly in Gleeden, what are the chances of getting caught? It seems the chances are slim as the app prevents users from recognizing each other through a few strict features like ‘private album system’ and yes of course, fake nicknames and blurred geolocation. However, if a husband and a wife did come across each other’s anonymous profiles, they wouldn’t know it was their spouse because to see the clear photo, one would have to send a request to view the other’s ‘private album.’   But the ultimate irony is, if the spouse accepts, they would both instantly see each other’s faces and realizes they are both using this app to cheat. LOL!  It will be a mutual ‘checkmate’ scenario where neither person can easily blame the other.

 

 

 

 

 

Thrift Fashion: Circular Practices through Second-Hand Clothes Market

In the simplest of terms, thrift shopping means purchasing second-hand goods. There are several reasons why buyers opt for thrift goods, the main reason being ‘price- sensitive’. Even among thrift goods, thrift clothing has the strongest consumer base. The buyers of thrift clothes often settles for such clothes because of the availability of genuine foreign designer brands at a reasonable price, which would have been impossible to acquire if it was from designated show rooms. There was a time, when buyers of thrift clothes were looked down, as it subtly implied that those who were not in a position to buy first hand branded clothes settled for second hand/pre-used clothes. However, overtime, affordability is not the only reason behind such purchase. People have grown more sensitive towards the environmental issues. 

No doubt, thrift shopping is one of the ways that make circular economy stronger by extending the lifespan of garments, reducing their environmental impact and minimizing waste. The concept of circular economy which is modeled in production and consumption involving sharing, leasing, reusing, repairing, recycling and refurbishing have made the consumers of thrift fashion to be a part of such model, with or without awareness of it. It will be interesting to understand the reasons behind the sell and purchase of thrift clothing, whether it solely for economic reasons or there is an ounce of knowledge of circular economy based on the environmental awareness, my guess settles for the former. The per capita income of the  Nagaland  is relatively low as compared to other states of India. The thrift fashion especially clothes have found a huge market in this region, making the people to get hold of their desired clothes at an affordable price. But, apart from its environmental and financial significance, one should keep in mind that compulsive purchase or hoarding of goods whether it is branded or thrifted is a mental disorder. Take Care! 

Scripted Support, Raw Reality: The Unraveling of the Mary Kom Narrative

I still remember vividly, when Mary Kom's biopic was released in 2014, there were objections regarding the cast of the movie. Priyanka Chopra essaying the role of Mary Kom was not hilarious, it was plain unfitting. The angle of racism and cultural appropriation did the rounds, but eventually the movie was released, it was declared a hit, Priyanka Chopra won awards for her role and yes, Mary Kom must have earned her share of royalty. The movie depicted Kom's husband as a sweet, caring and supportive man, more or less an ideal husband. To add gravity, Kom too had said about Onler's (Kom's ex-husband) contribution towards her success in one of the interviews (the host of that show was Tara Sharma, in case, you need reference). Although biopic often over glorifies a person or tries to whitewash a perceived public image but it has some element of truth in it, it falls under the genre of nonfiction, after all.

But years down the line, the narrative is not the same, things have changed, they have divorced. The things Mary Kom said on Aap Ki Adalat have created havoc. Memes, opinions and reactions are floating on social media platforms. Well, she said what she said, but why she did say what she said? Only she knows. But two things can be inferred: his character depiction in the biopic was a lie or what she said in Aap Ki Adalat was a lie to shift the blame and control the narrative. Whatever may be the case, I am of the opinion that she needs media training.  

And like always, people who are allergic to feminism or have shallow understanding of feminism or does not know what different waves of feminism strives for, have dragged feminism into this matter. What Mary Kom said does not adhere to the tenets of feminism, for she tried to confirm herself in the societal norms by echoing what the society expects from a husband/man. 

Lastly, majority of us must have watched, La La Land.  It had a realistic storyline; will you sacrifice your dreams for the one you love? The two main characters did not; hence, the movie had a bittersweet ending.