Many of us are not even aware that we practice passive aggression in our daily lives. We don’t want to be aggressive but we embrace aggression in a passive way. Maybe, we are too timid to offend or confront or we are conditioned in such a way.
In simple words, passive aggression is being unwilling to be friendly or helpful, without expressing annoyance or disapproval openly or loudly. While aggressive behaviour can be direct and forceful, passive-aggressive behaviour is indirect and less obvious. Passive aggression can happen at home, at office, with friends, with strangers or online. Aggression uses physical, verbal, confrontational and relational ways. On the other hand, passive aggressive uses indirect ways like non-verbal in approach, giving backhanded compliments, cynical, sarcastic remarks etc. Someone who is passive aggressive takes control over the situations in a less direct or observable ways. One might use this behaviour because one might feel angry, frustrated and indignant, but might act all neutral, pleasant and even cheerful, followed by indirect ways to show how one really feels.
One can argue that passive aggressive is better than being aggressive but both are capable of damaging relationships. Passive aggressive people express negative feelings indirectly, create confusion and manipulation, wherein passive aggressive people can use ways to control or punish someone without taking direct responsibility.
To overcome passive aggressive, we should learn to express our thoughts and feelings, we should be assertive like standing up for our interests, be firm and direct, and be able to communicate clearly, be honest yet respect other’s opinions and talk about our frustrations and anger, and adopt an open minded approach and set boundaries. At the same time, we can try to be understanding and empathetic.
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