THE BIG ENGLISH BAZAR

Do you speak English?

Nagaland’s official language is English, not Nagamese (your general knowledge is really something) and everyone out there knows the meaning of ‘Baby, I love you.’ So, baby with love in mind let us discuss the beauty of SEZ in Nagaland. In this article SEZ stands for Special English Zone and not Special Economic Zone. Okay, baby let us proceed.

Special English Zone

Once upon a time in the land called Nagaland there was a soothsayer who predicted great things like, ‘In days to come, if a man cuts his face then he will be left with a scar’, ‘In days to come, when two women pull each other’s hair then at least a strand of hair will be in their hands’, ‘In days to come, the man who doesn’t take bath will stink.’ These were some of the examples of his mighty predictions which have come true. He was an outstanding man, use to stand outside the village gate. The prediction below remains his magnum opus, he predicted,

     ‘In days to come, there will be a language not of this land but of the Whites, that language will dominate all over this land. However, the people of this land will make a mockery of that very language.’

Mr. Hoodwink could have lived longer to fool more fools but he died, sad. Years passed by, English dominated over other vernaculars. The English language became the medium of instruction in school and colleges, at least in theory; in practice, some of the teachers were comfortable explaining things in our local creole- Nagamese. When Radio became popular we got NEWS (Now Everything Went Somewhere), the news was read out in Hindi and in English, parents working in governmental offices would call their kids to sit and listen to the news which was read out in English (full volume). While the evening sun looked at them with sympathy, the kids’ mind cursed the discipline springing out from the belief that it was a useless exercise. Measures were adopted to make students speak English, like charging fine if caught speaking in Nagamese or their respective dialect. However, things did not change, why? We were not encouraged to read books outside our textbooks. And those who read books were confronted by ‘nerd quirk’, which meant ‘pronouncing words wrong because we’ve only ever seen them in books and used them in writing.’ Plus, those kids who spoke English with an accent which was unusual to Naga ears were called ‘over-smart’. The Doordarshan news broadcast came to the rescue but globalization hit the country, so all the sleepy towns of Nagaland moved forward to adapt the change. The option changed from Radio to Doordarshan news to BBC and CNN, not knowing why there was different in accent between the two. Then came the call centre culture which not only became the background of many desi novels, it also gave employment to many educated unemployed youths of our state who flocked to major cities in search of new jobs. When it came to right diction those youths working there had an edge over other youths. The preacher who pronounced ‘heaven’ as ‘hiben’ was mocked, the singers who did cover version of Grammy-winning singers were criticised for their mother tongue influence, so was the person whose Naga twang was apparent. People who could not bear the brackish jokes mended on them defended by saying, ‘I am a Naga and I will speak English in Naga way.’ Many were cool with the argument, but many stayed with the consideration, ‘But your diction is killing the conversation.’

Sadly, while some hope could be seen there came a blow in SEZ when it got divided into two sub- zones making the matter worse. These two zones were,

                                            Spoken English Zone: It operates in three ways,

1.Dutch courage: Have you ever wondered why drunken Nagas speak in English even without going to school? I guess it is called Dutch courage.

2.Accent confusion: Thanks to Hollywood movies. Jury Award to Friends and Sherlock Holmes for bringing out the greatest oxymoron American-British- Naga- English.

3.Something went wrong while video-chatting so your new international lover complimented, ‘I love your voice.’ And you mistook it as ‘Your diction is so admirable.’

Written English Zone: It operates in three ways,

1. No problems with East Asian movie sub-titles. Example- You flag a hoist of love in my heart.

2. The social networking site has done a good job. Acronyms- SEZ LOL!

3. Knowledge of grammar is so tough. Scene- Italy is an adverb because it ends with ‘ly’. 

To obviate a bit

Someone with good social and anthropological understanding, not necessarily someone with Ph.D. in linguistics will know that such glitch is arising due to three things: we haven’t spoken much of that language, we haven’t heard much of that language and there was no one to genuinely correct us, without hurting our ego. It is hard to let go of our Mother Tongue Influence (in some sense we take pride in it) and spoken English courses are not for free, but a better compromise can be made if we start correcting our written English. Lastly, this article may not be free from grammatical errors, I promise to improve myself.

 *This article of mine was published for Delhi Ao Students' Union, Souvenir: Silver Jubilee 1989-2014.