MY BLOG HAS ELEVEN TYPEs OF READER

11. THE CRITIC MAMA: With a big mouth but stingy in encouragement, this mama does not like any of the posts either because it’s me who is writing or just because my genre is different from what this mama likes. Well, as a versatile writer I have a Mainstream and Offbeat Essay blog and Sage of Wandering Mind, to suit mama’s taste. But, nay, mama will be there to ambush me down as mama simply don’t like at all - me and my writings.

10. THE GRAMMAR SCALE: This scale takes extreme pride in the solace that comes with the conviction that Wren & Martin were his/her playmate. You read my blog; you read several other blogs not to read what is being conveyed but to give red inked circle to the writers. The irony is, till date the scale has not written even a ‘twenty lines paragraph’ as he/she is too scared of other grammar scales or, in other words, their cousins out there.

9. HUNTER OF EROTICA: I know that there is a difference between pornography and erotica but the hunter should know that you would get any. The hunter in a limited sense should be satisfied with some innuendo here and there, more than that there won’t be anything meaty to satisfy the hunter’s hungry senses.

8. THE SUPERFICIAL WAGON:  This kind of reader does not even read the post in the truest sense of the term. They are always in a hurry for the reasons best known to them. They might read the first sentence and the last sentence and the rest will be a pale wash. They will be like- this is missing, that is missing, if only the wagon knows that everything which is needed is there except someone's undying attention.

7. THE LOBSTER OF MISINTERPRETATION: I am writing of apple and this lobster thinks I am writing about how orange is orange. Agreed that postmodernism has made the reader alive by killing the writer, but the interpretation is one thing and misinterpretation is another.  I wish the lobster can understand the sarcasm, dry humour, satires, allegories, metaphors and similes.

6. THE CYNIC CYCLE: Why so optimistic? There are no many colours out there? I am negative and colour blind. There is Hope? You must be kidding.  There is love? Then, why did I just get a heart break? There is friendship? Then, why do I feel so lonely? Come on, why did you choose such a crappy topic for writing? It is a cold bitter world. Period. To this I reply, dear cycle, you have  two wheels one in front and the other in back, both cannot be in the front, but both have an important role to play, now go paddling your way.

5. SHE IS WRITING FOR ME CAT: Cat, you are not a celebrity that I will write for you. When I write for you then I will let you know that I have written it for you, won’t let my hard work to impress you go unnoticed. I have little or no interest in your lives until and unless you want me to note it down for the world to know. To make the long story short, don’t take the posts so personally that you will be searching for your picture in the posts’ pictures too.

4. THE FEAR FACTOR PARTICIPANT: I am not Taylor Swift who writes a song after every break up based on her experiences. Some of my friends who are readers too keep on reminding me that they are scared of me uncovering their censored moments. I too believe in privacy and the notion that some good moments are too personal to be shared. Please don’t be scared, I am a kind and sweet writer. Hope the participants are convinced.

3. THE DICTATOR CHAMPAZ: With respect, why should I write what you want me to write? This is my blog, juxtaposing a situation and jeopardizing my reputation comes under my risk. I get annoyed (although I don’t show) when this champaz tells me what to omit and what to submit. My genre is different, my patterns which are surrounded by the cockpit of ideas does not fall under your armpit, so please do not be a dictator and you better start your own blog.

2. THE LOYALIST CLUB: They are the sincere followers of my blog, they read, they try to understand, they like the posts and do compliment when it is required, and in my good hair days they applaud me as the greatest blogger alive. God bless them!

1. THE BLANK PAGE: What is this………………………………………kya hai yeh?