(For Ao Students' Magazine, 2011: New Delhi)
(Thankfully ‘I was once a Teenage Romantic Fool’, the article which I wrote for this magazine a year ago turned out to be a huge hit among the readers. For over three months I got compliments, but when the appreciations stopped then teases followed. To this date, I cannot compliment any good looking man in front of the ‘gang’ for they remind me over and over that ‘I am still a Romantic Fool’. Anyway, I love to write on human relationship and I continue to do so.)
Oral instructions have played a pivotal role in our lives; it is something an older generation gives to the younger ones for the unseen days ahead. I had this chance meeting with a lady who gave me the instructions which could not be found in finest of books or even in Google. This is how it began….
I took the window seat; the middle one was unoccupied, the aisle seat was taken by an elderly woman. Unlike other elderly people who prefers aisle for quick movement, she requested to exchange our seats which I granted. She looked like a woman who enjoyed good and long conversation, mercy; I was not wrong. She started by asking what my name was; then said she has been to Dimapur and Kohima, and that she was going to Delhi to meet her grandson, daughter- in -law and son etc. She asked my future plan, and continued to ask me, “What next?”, I knew she wanted my answer to ending with marriage plans, as rude as I am, I was determined not to give her the answer she wanted. It was painful to think that I paid extra luggage fine just to be with this lady, I was about to request the airhostess to change my seat but I dropped the idea.
She folded her stole and said, “In case you change your mind, what I am going to say will be worthy to consider.”
Pretending to be attentive I nodded my head. Surprise! It turned out to be interesting.
She continued, “I believe that there are five types of husband in this world. The Techno-Wiz; The Piggy Bank, The Health Freak; The Fashion Guru, The Creative Charmer.
The Techno-Wiz- He will be someone having all/almost the knowledge of latest technological gadgets. If your washing machine makes annoying noise more than the usual, if you your juice blender does not blend, if your microwaves do not heat up the cold, if there is something wrong with your PC or television then he is there to give them a Midas touch. Good thing is that you will be saving lots of money having him around, for you do not have to spend it on technicians. Unromantic thing is that he will be very practical, especially in selecting gifts for you. Do not be shocked if he surprises you with treadmill on your 40th birthday.
The Piggy Bank- He saves the coins; he takes care of the notes, so in short he values money. With him on your side, you will know what financial stability means. He will take care of the soaring bills and there will be little or no raging debts, in his full romance mood he will show you magic wherein he will pull out coins after coins from his socks. Good that he will not take a single cent for granted, but there will be times when you will find it hard to define whether he is being prudent or stingy.
The Health Freak- He will be a wonder man, yes! He and not you will be the first one to know when you are expecting. He has clipped in pieces the information of all the diseases, causes and prevention (lucky if there is a cure) in his pocket. He will be your doctor and your personal nurse; he will be caring and will never let you miss your mother whenever you are sick. He will keep a constant check on your weight, and wake you up every morning for jogging. The monsoon rains will be lovely and you will be tempted to dance with him, but he being the reluctant one will have no intentions to let pneumonia catch you.
The Fashion Guru- When you two go out for parties he will get more compliments than you. He will have an amazing sense of style and encourage you in doing the same, he will help you in finding the correct haircut for your face, and he will arrange your clothes for all the occasions, your friends will envy you for having a fashion expert cum hubby like him. One look and he will know what fabric the cloth is made of; from perfumes to shoes he knows what will suit you the best. But, there will be times when you could like just want to be comfortable in your faded T-shirt, to which he will say, “You look old in this. Please, believe me.”
The Creative Charmer- Dear, he will woo you every week, if you are luck then every day. He will take you out for lunch and dinner; he will cook delicious meals for you, keep the garden, garage and the kitchen clean, he will sing songs for you, write poems and place it under your pillow, will always be pleasing to your friends and even your worst of enemies. He will serenade you, provided your house has a balcony. Even though it is very delightful to hear and be a part of that moment but there will be times when you will find him so cloying, that you might hit his head with the roses he bought.”
Before I opened my mouth, she knew what I was going to ask.
“Although many a time it is only a blend of two types or three types, a balanced blend of all these husbands will be the perfect husband.”
“Under which of the said category does your husband fall?” I was still under the spell.
“Oh! I miss him, he was perfect.” She posed for a second and added, “He passed away few years back.”
“I am sorry.” We stepped down from the plane.
“Don’t be, for we had a happy married life.” She patted on my shoulders.
“I am sure you did,” I smiled.
We bade goodbye, and as I took the cab- ride to my university hostel; all the way I agreed that it was a delightful encounter made memorable by a wrinkle free instruction.
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