Love Comes Gently: Loving Myself

Personal.

These 3 years, things have been really tough for me, physically and emotionally. I lost three people who meant so much to me, and it happened consecutively. As I am undergoing an existential crisis, I can't think of any other condition other than this. I am questioning life and the meaning of it, death and the role it plays in one's life. 

I may come as an open book but reading a book too takes time. On the top of that, I am a difficult book to review. There are things which I don't want to discuss, there are times when I just want to be alone, everyone deserves an 'alone time', come on. There are some pains which is deeper than the Ocean with the highest gravitational pull. True, I have no regrets, I did what I was best at, loving unconditionally. But to say, goodbye, at the end is a situation which takes time to cope.

However, in all these, I forgot to take care of myself. I have noticed, recently. Hence, this year, let me invest in myself. Let me love myself, not like selfish person does but like someone who cherishes one's life, one which is executed by taking care of one's health and mental wellbeing. 

I start with, taking care of my eyes. 

The Unlikely Winner of Bigg Boss 15

 I have watched the First Season of Bigg Boss after which, I lost interest. This year, I took the courage to invest my precious time in watching it on Voot App. After many episodes, my Top 3 favourites were, Shamita, Pratik and Umar. I really liked the content created by these three. However, as the episodes progressed, the love angle between Karan and Tejaswi became the central focus, more screentime was sucked by them. It became a bit frustrating.

Shamita played with grace and dignity in all the tasks. Pratik was winning the hearts of his fans with his honesty. Umar was just amazing minus his untimely aggression. In a way, their screentime became minimal as compared to the famous #Tejran couple. The shocking eviction of Umar was heart wrenching, he was out of the race, OMG!!!

Anyway, after some point, it became easy to guess, Tejaswi was going to win the show. So many clues were hinted towards her victory. One way or the other, through this or that task, deserving or undeserving, she was picked to be in the VIP Zone and in the Top 6. The Naagin 6 lead role revelation was the ultimate eye-opener...ColorsTV all the way.

As I had my own favourites, Tejaswi not being one of them. It would have been better if Tejaswi stood as a first or second runner-up. Nevertheless, what's gone is gone, I hope the winner of Bigg Boss 16 won't be as predictable as Bigg Boss 15's. 

The Colour of Raven

At present, Nagaland does not have an opposition party. The other political parties remind one of the pressure groups. The outcome of Framework Agreement is like the ashes from the wood of an old man living alone but in a cold mountain cabin, having brass utensils on his table, and he moving around with a glass of whiskey deciding on which vegetable he should cook. Then there is the problem of unemployment, highest in the county. It looks like maggots on a dead body, where fairies sing and dance to the music of agony harp. The mango tree above the grave does not support anything for its golden fruit makes the best of juice. The thief in the hotel has stolen everything, we heard but whose stuffs he has been stealing? Not of the guests or the staffs or the owner. He had been stealing his own stability. 

The garbage smells a lot, the blackish water and the mosquito colony all combined form a rainbow of scam and mockery. The traffic is heavy, one car runs over the other, the public is busy clicking pictures from their cheap mobile cameras. The Angel of Death laughs at the stupidity of everyone. Time lapses, the scar fades, the tear dries but the decaying of the soul remains the same. One need not pity the children because they are soldiers masquerading as gentle doves. When the squid games end and the festival get over, the shoes do not fit anyone including Cinderella. 

When will we know everything, we have is temporary, for we are ceasing. We are but creatures of tail, wagging at our interest, wagging for meeting our needs. Oh, some may say, I am not a wagging tail but that’s a lie. Everyone is suffering from a thing or the other, the difference is, some are aware of it, some are not. Ice cream melts under the summer heat but we are doomed if we are controlled by the addiction of it. All recreations come with a price, sometimes the price is too high to pay, it kills the fun it brings. What are the limits to ecstasy, when we claim ourselves as spiritual beings?  

All in all, we remain selfish mortal beings.